The Mose Daddy's Convention 2011- Part 2

So rather than go into minute to minute detail of what we did at the farm- I think I will just do as my mom suggested- write what I "felt". The first night we got there together- Mark and Matt walked me over to Sandy's house (where I slept) and we looked up at the stars in amazement. The stars there are unbelievable. We just stood there and couldn't believe what we were looking at. So clear. We all commented that we don't know what we are doing with our lives. The reason we said that is because on the farm- things are just different. You become a different/better person. Life becomes so much more clear, and your thoughts are only thoughts that really matter. Back home, I'm always stressed, worried, uptight and so on. But on the farm, I just felt at peace with everything. It is hard to explain other than it just felt different- a good different. So many times I would just pause and take in the beauty around me and BREATHE. It felt so GOOD to BREATHE and THINK. Really think. Maybe it was because I didn't have my children around. They do cause so much "clutter"- not to make that sound bad- it's just I feel SO INVOLVED with being a parent that I forget to ENJOY what I have and what I've been blessed with. When I got off the plane to see my kiddos and Owen, I was so at ease. Owen wrote me a letter explaining my change. He said it was a good change- that I had come home less WORRIED. I was hoping I could be that CHANGED person forever- but today proved otherwise(more on that another time). The point that I am trying to make here is I realized so many times up at the farm, that LIFE is PRECIOUS. We NEED to STOP and PAUSE and THINK about what we are doing here on Earth. Is all the stressing, anxiety, and uptightness really worth it?? Since I've been home and I have gotten back to "real life" I have tried to close my eyes and see the farm again. I have had some moments in just the few days that I have been home where I feel my "old self, before the farm-self" to come back. I HATE IT. I want to control my actions and remember what I felt there in the beautiful land. Life is PRECIOUS. It really is, and if I forget that, well then I forget to cherish the sweet things in life.

There was also a night when we all went down to the dock/lake and star-gazed. Wow. Talk about putting things into perspective. Mark and Matt explained to me that above us in the Milky Way was MORE, OTHER worlds full of other beings looking down on us. That right there sure did make me again think- what am I doing with my life?? I come back here to L.A. with the busy lights,sounds, noises, and STUFF, that I get so caught up in. I could see SO MUCH in the sky on the farm. It was really breathtaking. Again, I hope I can PAUSE and think of that night often- put things into perspective and really live the way I should.

I felt LOVE. I have the most AMAZING 5 brothers. I honestly don't know how I got so lucky. Do I wish I had a sister? Maybe in the past when I was little- but I wouldn't trade my 5 brothers for anything. All of them told me they were SO GLAD I came. It would have not been the same without me- they said. Each one is so different, yet we are all the same too. The reason I believe we all are best friends and get a long so well is first and foremost the way my parents raised us-in LOVE. We have Bryan who is the musician, and writer- such a mellow and sincere person. Mark the scientist, who is the THINKER and IN TUNE one. Matt, the fun, sweet, creative and KIND one. Brad, the funny, SMART and people pleaser. And John-the wise owl- the one we would want to be with in a chaotic moment because he knows how to stay calm a midst the storm. There was one night when I started to talk with Matt and Bryan about marriage/finances in general. And lately Owen and I have been struggling with so many things. I broke down and they were both there to hear me cry and vent. Matt especially knew what I was going through because he has experienced some of the same feelings. Then soon after John came in and gave me a hug. I am so glad I can cry in front of my brothers and know that they will always be there with a listening ear and open heart.

When we left the farm we were all standing outside the house. Grandpa said a prayer and we started to say our goodbyes to Grandma. How we love those people. Both Grandma and Grandpa will be missed. My Grandma Nothum is such a sweet person. She is constantly looking after people around her and wants to take good care of those in her view. Grandpa Nothum is so stalwart and strong. He knows who he is and lives his life so well.I couldn't hold back the tears and neither could Brad. I think it was a mix of emotions then. We didn't want to leave our grandparents and we didn't want to leave the farm, but most importantly we didn't want to leave what we had gained from being there. We all became someone different, for the better. The farm changed us and we will forever remember our time there together.